I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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