ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
