i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
