Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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