Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
