its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize