Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
