I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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