is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
