I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
