Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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