Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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