didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
