Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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