i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That accounts for only three of the penises
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
