wrigley field is MILF paradise
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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