He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
