I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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