As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
