If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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