There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
