So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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