I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
