Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
