Do you still have your period?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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