have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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