Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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