whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
