Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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