Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
