So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
