He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
