Sponge bath it is.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
