UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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