Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize