ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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