my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
