I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
