Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
