Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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