She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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