Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
