Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
