can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
