I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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