My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You pole danced in your parka.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
