Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
