It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
