All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
