I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
