chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
