He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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