I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
