the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
