My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
false alarm. still invincible.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
