He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize