Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
