Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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