If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
that is very illegal...i love you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
