Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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