Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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