I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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