i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
