Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
