He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize